Sunday, July 29, 2012


Life full on


How deep do we dare to sink into life?
Can we allow all of It to touch us?

How many defense mechanisms have we build up
to keep out the nasty bits,  the uncomfortable parts?

Death,  sickness,  decay.
Its not pretty.
But it is Life.
Deterioration of a loved one.
Its painful,  heart rending,
and yet it is Life.
 
Can we meet it in its fullness, without protective measures?

Growing up as a human being in today's day and age, it has become
a habit to close up and to contract in an attempt to avoid the events and
sights which are ugly and painful.

It is part and parcel of believing oneself to be a separate individual.
In fact the person is the contraction.
Or in other words,  the contraction makes that we feel ourselves as
separate,  even though in reality no such a thing exists, as there is
ever only One.

If the understanding has come through that there is no separate person,
that it is Life happening, it will eventually erode resistances which
are remnants of the old belief.

Once the illusion of a separate person has been seen,
Life itself will wriggle out all the buried assumptions,
the expectations and resistances.

This is a process which happens by itself.
There is not a person doing something; processing its resistances,
Life itself is presenting those things which are necessary to be seen.

Surrendering to What Is,  is the same as meeting Life full on.

There is no choice,
Its Life happening.


A woodpigeon.
The windmill turning with screeching sounds.
Sweat is running down the back.
Its 10.58 on a lazy humid Sunday morning.





Friday, July 27, 2012


In fact...

In fact, ultimate truth does not even need words or explanation.
That is because this whole world is already truth. Just see. Just
hear. Just smell. From moment to moment, the universe is always
giving us a very wonderful Dharma speech about the nature of
truth. The sky is blue. The trees are green. Salt tastes salty;
sugar is sweet. When you see, when you hear, when you smell,
when you taste, when you touch, when you think - everything,
just-like-this, is the truth.
~Seung Sahn

Monday, July 23, 2012


Authenticity


The last few days a feeling of being 'out of It'.
Of not being authentic.
A feeling of discomfort and physical unrest.
The feeling of a someone.

A dear friend had a accident and is hospitalized with brain damage.
Two weeks of being with him, taking care of him,
and somewhere the hope that he can recover somehow,  somewhat.

Trying to push back the prospect that he will not recover,
that he will be an invalid,  a plant.  
Pushing back anxieties.
Resistance,  resistance.

( Could i have done it better ?,  should i have done this rather than that?
No too painful,  push it away,   resist these unwelcome feelings. )

Then when this was noticed,   a complete stop.
And everything was welcomed.
Sitting with this,
wave after wave.
Sitting with it as a mother would hold her child.
And then slowly it becomes something else.
Noticing without labels.
Just noticing and holding it.
Coming and going.

And now a deep feeling of sadness which is just there,
not happening to a someone.
Just there.
A feeling of almost exquisite sadness,
all the sadness of the world,
breaking open the heart.

Authenticity. 
This is what is here right now.

With resistance the person comes into being,
Without the resistance it is life happening.

 Life raw and deep.


Saturday, July 21, 2012



Shadows


All things considered..

We go through life being confronted by events.
Actions are happening
Relationships appear and disappear.
Children are born.
Parents, friends and family die.

To whom does this appear.
Who are we?

As a child of 8 or 9 years old, walking to school and seeing the shadow
of my body reflected on the street, moving as the body was moving.
I was aware that i did not feel myself identified with that of which the shadow
was a reflection.  Aware of something bigger just watching.

Already then, or still, the knowledge that i was more than a body.
Already then, or still, the perception of something aware of awareness.

Children often see in the right way,  as they are not yet buried under
the concepts of name and form.
Before identification with a person and a name are fully in place,
the light of knowledge is there.

But then, as there is nobody to tell us otherwise, to point out we are
That which is looking, we get lost in the story of a me.

Knowing who you are prior to all concepts.
Seeing without identification or labeling.
The Ultimate Subject.

There you are.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012


How could it be?


An early morning walk.
In all appearances there is a someone who walks. 
The body of a woman,  who apparently climbs over and
dives under tree trunks which are still blocking the road after
cyclone Thane had its fun more than 6 months ago.
Nobody denies that that is what is apparently happening.

Subjectively however;  knowing who I am, there is no one walking.
And gender or even the label human are not part of the noticing.
And hence do not exist at this moment.

What I am is awareness,  the open space where walking happens,
where birds are flying from tree to tree
where drums of distant villages are heard
Where thoughts about a friend in hospital are coming up
Where dullness is noticed
Where trees and bushes are moving passed as walking happens
in the immovable immutable placeless place.


There is often an amusement as why there are discussions about
the personal and the impersonal,   as there is only One.
And in this and as this everything plays out.
Meaning everything,  meaning everything we might call
personal or impersonal,  after all they are just words.
Do we first have to demarcate a difference between personal and impersonal,
and then say that This includes both?
Is that not obvious?
Since there is only One?

Nothing is ever excluded.
How could it be?

But then of course debates about personal and impersonal, or come
to that, about becoming and being are also playing out in This and as This.

Awareness mirroring itself in a billion ways.



Friday, July 13, 2012


No big deal


One wonders from time to time:   

What is the big deal.?

After all it is just the noticing of what is.
What at each moment presents itself.

Just a shift from person-oriented to seeing everything
appearing in what you are.

And since it is already the case,  there is nothing to be
done,  or to achieve.
Just notice that it is already so .

Effortlessly

Really no big deal.



A thunder storm rolls in with a light show and lots of noise.
The wind moves the curtains.
The airflow on the skin.
A croaking frog under the kitchen window.


Thursday, July 12, 2012


I don't know what it is

Taoist expression of non-duality
Without the concept of an other,
There is no separate I.
Without the sense of an I,
nothing can be seen as other.
There is some power that determines things,
but I don’t know what it is.
It has no form or substance,
acts without doing,
keeps the whole universe in order,
and seems to get along
perfectly well without me.
~ Chuang-tzu
( I found this today on the Nonduality Highlights,   edited by Jerry Katz. )

Tuesday, July 10, 2012


Stories


Just now i met a young man who asked me:

"You surely believe in Atlantis and Lemuria?"

Stories,  all stories,  endless stories.
Evolution,  the meaning of life,  the Divine intention for humanity,
the destruction of the planet.
History and projections in the future.
Relationships,  birth,  death.
All possible outcomes and scenarios.

The One playing the Many.

What a show.

But believing?
Do i believe anything?

Just noticing what is at any moment.
This is all there is to It.
The quiet noticing of everything that appears and disappears.
And a resting in Unknowing.

What do we know for sure?

No more beliefs and concepts,   except as stories seen
to be playing out.
No more second hand information needed to prop up an imaginary
identity.

Just This happening
happening to No one.

Simplicity


Sunday, July 8, 2012


Wake up


But the common story is more like this:

The two in one being,  absorbed in each other,  as One,
as being indistinguishable,  a silent immobile holding
of Itself to Itself.

And because of
( fill in the one you prefer...)
*   the Joy of  feeling itself separate and experiencing itself through duality
*   wanting to find Divine harmony in the manifest world
*   Anything you might feel appropriate....
awareness throws itself out into forms, colors and sounds, taste and smells,
sensations, thoughts and feelings.
Beings, plants, rocks and minerals, the whole of manifest existence comes into being.

Then because of a bloody freaking accident, or the play of the Divine, or...(?)
awareness goes into a coma and forgets itself as Itself.

Then the Lover keeps pulling at the so-called other,  but actually itself and
whispers,  shouts,  and calls out loud:
Wake up, my love,  I am you,  remember who you are,  come back to 
Me and Oneness.  
Remember,  Look and See.
Shake off this forgetfulness which makes you sad and miserable.   
This feeling of separateness which makes you pursue
happiness in silly pursuits,  leaving a wake of destruction. 
Wake up,  wake up,  your forgetfulness is starting to become a liability.
The existence of the planet is at stake....

WAKE UP




 

Saturday, July 7, 2012


Not Two



So much longing from itself for Itself.
An agony,  a wish to drown into the well of unknowing,
this abyss and disappear forever.

Thrown into the fire and be consumed by the flames.
The ache for annihilation of any felt sense of difference,
A fever like a boiling hot pus-filled pimple ready to burst open.

Take me, take me.
Where are you my Beloved?


And the Lover in wait,  to jump at me unexpectedly
or take me in with soft and sweet promises
Whispering:

Where are you,  are you still there?
is there still a you to ravish,   to capture,  conquer
and to turn inside out.?
Are you still holding up barriers? 
Are you still keeping things from Me?
Do you not know I will tug and pull at and destroy anything which
is standing in between us.?
No obstacle will have the power to hold Me back.
Anything I will smash and break to sunder. 
Until there is nothing left in you but Me.



The eternal love story playing out at every moment.



Tuesday, July 3, 2012


Bicycle


All good pointers are bringing the seekers after the pot of gold,
all voracious readers of Nonduality blogs and websites to
the one place overlooked.

The place where the reader and seeker is seeing from.
The placeless place you are right now reading these words from.

Anything else is taking you for a ride.
Just investigate..

Where are you standing right now.?

Where do the questions pop up in?

Who is looking?

Do not believe or follow anyone.
Dismiss all concepts.
Follow your intuition,  investigate,  find out.

You ARE the answer to your seeking.



And of course a bicycle has nothing to do with anything.
Just as pointers and teachers are equally redundant after reaching destination.
Thank you for the ride...

I AM the place i never left..







Monday, July 2, 2012


No clue



The person i believed myself to be until some years ago had always been good
in hiding. Disappearing in the woodwork had been the life motto:

'They might discover i am a fake, that i really have no clue what is going on.'


Now Awareness has taken over and tendencies get over ruled.
As Awareness loves to play.
Sees itself in all the contacts of the world
Loves to break limitations.
Tumbles over borders.
Nudges at firmly held beliefs and concepts
Bursts out laughing at so called problems and
simply delights in recognizing Itself.
 Calling out to all and everyone:

'Look, I am you,  you are me,   
 There is only One'




Crickets tsjirp
In the distance some thunder is heard
A ticking clock
The warm humid atmosphere of a tropical evening.


 p.s    and still no clue what is going on,  but wow, what fun....  ;-)