Calamity

Opening up to
what is
what you are

right here
right now,
the seeking stops, 

the search ends.

From a personal point of view a calamity. 

 
An existence where there are no more goals
no more ideas and ideals to go after.
The center of the universe,
the idea of being a person collapses. 

 
And everything which made sense before
is now seen to be empty, meaningless.

But when existence is pulled free
from this limited point of view,
reveals itself to itself. 

 
And Life becomes a wondrous happening.
A mysterious unknown
where everything is full of meaning.

 
Fullness itself without explanations.

 
The immediacy of perceiving what Is.

 
The beauty.

 
The ear-splitting silence.

 
The peace that passeth all understanding 

 
The total acceptance of what Is.

 
Choicelessly aware

 

 

The conversation

The conversation

this morning where the soft sand gave way

when my bare foot came down,

the dewdrops from the grass

trickle down the ankle,

and the sound of small twigs

break on the forest floor.

The conversation

yesterday at acro yoga

with the weight and the delicate finding of ease

as one balances in midair upside down

on some other body’s feet.

Not knowing anymore where one body starts

and the other begins.

Only sensations of stretching, balancing

of weight and movement are perceived.

The world seen from unusual angles.

The conversation

at all times ongoing

as we move and see,

hear and smell,

taste and touch,

all and everything that appears

in our field of perceptions.

A fullness and aliveness always here

but rarely noticed in its richness and intensity

as most of our attention stays captivated

by the belief in the reference point we call me.

While at each moment

a million things are going on,

the narration of keeping this me aliveness

hijacks the direct perceptions.

The Aliveness without filters.

 

 

"Here I AM"

As awareness is All,

the ultimate subject,

what All is,

what we all Are,

so everything

we meet is IT.

All the contacts with the world

is only ever the Beloved meeting us.

 

Every face, smell, colour, sound, sensation.

 

The smiling kid looking up,

the grumpy sales man in the shop,

the embrace of our lover,

the throes of our illness.

No getting away from IT.

 

The Beloved pursues us relentlessly.

 

Every breath we take is only ever

This which is touching us

with Itself.

 

The boredom, the depression,

the delight and the joy.

 

Through every contact IT is calling

out to us:

 

"HERE I AM"

 

 

Unentangling

 

If the the penny has dropped,

and one knows oneself to be That 

which is limitless....

and one does not hang on to concepts 

how nonduality or spirituality has to look like;

one enters a journey of unentanglement.

Personal encumberments 

gathered over a lifetime come out of hiding.

 

Contractions stored in the body as a child are eased out. 

 

Memories one did not know were there, resurface.

 

At its own time and momentum this process unfolds.

There is no initiative or intention

There is no one who wants it to go one way or the other.

 

And then without effort it is over.

This particular knot has been untied.

After such a episode I notice 

there is a deepening in the way I perceive myself and the world.

 

Sinking more into the body.

There is more clarity in the perception.

This process is going on since some years.

It started in India and continued after I remigrated to Holland.

There was much to uncover coming back to my own country,

my roots and my family.

Lots of things I had not have to deal with 

in the 35 years I was in India.

National and cultural habits,

Childhood issues. 

 

Sticky at times,

Painful at times.

 

Revealing more freedom

And there is no end to this journey

More space to be the One who I AM