Sunday, June 12, 2016

A bargain

Letting go of pretense, 
the masks
and all the roles we play.

Letting go of ideals, 
ideas and beliefs.

Letting go of
everything we hold dear,
everything we think is true.

As these are filters which
shield us from the raw reality of Life

And in the space which gets created,
by not filling in the emptiness with our noise,
we as it were allow our senses to clear 
as we do not rush in to label
whatever information comes in through the senses.

Then there is the immediacy of knowing.
Being the knowing. 

And simultaneously
we enter a space of not knowing.
As everything appears as if for the first time.

And it does. 

There can be a honeymoon at first with this 
new uncluttered way of experiencing Life.

Elation, insights, bliss, clarity.
The thrill of being alive 
open and unbound.

But then as well there can be confusion and depression
as this blast of freedom can shatter the very foundations
of what we always felt was safe and secure.
We walk on shaky ground.
Not yet used being comfortable 
to live without limitations.

Life can as well appear as empty, sterile, meaningless
as the old structures are dissolving. 

In this open Space,
unprotected because the filters have gone 
also things in our personal make up 
of limitations and old pains,
often after years of being in a contraction, 
can be tickled and teased to open up by this new freedom.

A whole range of emotions might visit us.
As a blast from the past.
Despair, anger, sadness, anguish.

Or pains or shaking of the body
as energy gets released.

Shedding an old skin can be a painful.

Be sure to know what you want.
Enlightenment can be 
more than you bargained for.



  1. Ha ha ha ha ha ! Awesome and Thanks!

  2. your words mirror my own experiences...

    the honeymoon phase, the unsettledness and sometimes scary realization that everything you based your entire life upon can no longer support you, emotional turmoil, all beautiful things once you are able to see them for what they are but during those periods of growth it almost feels that you're going insane...

    As the universe pushes my limits, I teeter sometimes on the edge of what feels like disaster, but it's not disaster, it only seems that way because I've lost my familiar boundaries and am left staring into a place that seems so vast and foreign to everything I ever knew...

    Thank you for sharing these words today. I interpreted this with much more gravity than levity...

  3. Hi Bernie,
    Reading what you write, it sounds as if you are in the process of shedding your old skin of identification. The armour of personal identity which is keeping Life, and the Immediacy at bay.

    Birthing is often times painful.

    As long as you know that things showing up, from depression, to confusion to emptiness or boredom, all can be the growing pains and what you are is never truly affected.
    The best thing you can do is to not to be alarmed, not to fight it, or doubt it but try to surrender to this process of moving into another way of being. Of experiencing yourself and the world.
    Patience, faith, trust.
    Confident that whatever it was that has brought you here will bring you further.

  4. It was all very confusing to me at first, as I had begun to conceptualize what it means to be 'aware', 'awake', 'realized', etc...

    I had given it all very nice packaging on the outside, and inside I filled it with nothing but pleasant images of Buddhas and the great sages. I always kept it carefully protected from any intrusions which might disturb my place of peace and bliss. But then the yin moments arrived, and I was unprepared and a bit shaken as they did not fit into this beautiful conceptual box that I had created. It took me a while to understand that I had to kill the Buddha, destroy the package that I had created as it had literally become my prison instead of my sanctuary...

    Now I see that each yin or yang moment is there to keep the balance that I sometimes fail to recognize myself, the nurturing hand of the universe so to speak nudging me back to center, causing me to revisit something deep within me that needs to come out and like a festering boil, it rises and I have to deal with it head on...

    That is what is different now, that I can face it head on, I can see that it is there to help me grow, to release old festering thoughts, to challenge me, I can now say to the pain, to the failures, to the fears, welcome in. I can now turn and look directly into them and experience them fully instead of trying to hide from them or deny their existence...

    It's still a struggle, but I respect the struggle too...

  5. I do so appreciate the honesty and courage coming through in what you write.